


Hold You ‘till the Hurt Goes Away

by Ixthalia



Series: A Beautiful, Unconventional Love [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Caretaking, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Menstruation, Nudity, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Sweet Bucky Barnes, mentions of CBD use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25633720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ixthalia/pseuds/Ixthalia
Summary: Bucky helps Evie through an endometriosis flare up.Warning:blood, graphic details of chronic pain and menstruation. Also, the occasional swear word. Sexy times are referred to but not detailed.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Series: A Beautiful, Unconventional Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555189
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have endometriosis, but so many women do. Many more do and aren't diagnosed. It's not women being dramatic about period cramps. It's a lifelong chronic pain condition that interferes in all aspects of a person's life. 
> 
> I've tried really hard to describe it accurately, researching it and watching the vlogs of many women who've been good enough to share their story online. That being said, I'm sorry if I've got something wrong. Symptoms vary a lot from woman to woman, but I hope Evie's experience speaks to the bulk of people.
> 
> ***Also, a necessary spoiler - the hurt doesn't go away. It's chronic. People have good and bad days, and shouldn't be labelled a liar for 'appearing fine'. 'Good' days for some are still painful days.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve leaves on a mission as Evie's flare up begins.

“Are you sure?”

Steve had already asked her over a dozen times since they rolled out of bed and a phone call had him readying a go-bag. Her answer never changed.

“I’m fine, Steve,” she squeezed his hand, “I swear.”

But he saw through her so easily.

“I know you’re ‘fine’ now,” he breathed, “but in a few hours…”

“Bucky will be home,” Evie reminded him.

Steve shook his head.

Of course that wasn’t enough to soothe him. Steve was a worrier, but the last thing she wanted was an unnecessary worry distracting him right before a mission. They both knew very well how the next few days were going to be for her.

Hell.

Cramps had jarred her awake in the middle of the night. Short but punishing spasms that sucked the air from her lungs and teased of greater pain to come. She’d hurried to the washroom, stumbling over one of Steve’s boots and biting her lip to stifle her curse before she reached her destination.

She’d shut the bathroom door softly, trying not to wake Steve, and hurried to fetch the extra strength Advil from the medicine cabinet. In a few days, Advil wasn’t going to do a damn thing to quell her pain, but for the time being it helped.

Steve had stepped into the washroom not long after she’d taken the pills. He’d found her sitting on the toilet, her nighty offering her a bit of privacy while her panties sat in a ball in the corner where she had tossed them. She’d rested her head on the vanity beside the toilet, her hair obscuring her face.

Her period hadn’t actually started yet, but it had hurt when she tried to pee, so she knew it was imminent.

Steve – god bless him – had brushed back her hair and wet a washcloth to dab her brow with. He sat with her until the Advil took the edge off and gently helped her back to bed. With his arms around her and a hot water bottle on her belly, she’d been able to get a few more hours of sleep.

Only to wake up and learn Steve had to leave.

Initially she wanted to cry. Being alone and in pain made everything so much worse. But it wasn’t just her and Steve anymore.

“I don’t know…”

Evie swallowed the pained whine that threatened to leave her as another cramp bloomed in her stomach. She stood on her tippy toes and kissed his chin, sighing as he wrapped his arms around her.

Endometriosis made her life hell at times.

It interrupted plans, complicated life, and made even the most mundane of tasks impossible at times. All she could do was sleep, cry, pray for relief, and slam her fists against the floor before it started all over again. It stole away the control she had of her body, leaving her a powerless passenger on a seemingly endless rollercoaster ride.

“Stevie, I’m going to be okay, love.”

She tried to remind herself that it – her hell - lasted just a few days each month when she had her period. And, so far at least, she had survived each bout with the flare ups that tried to break her down.

This was just one more tango.

She’d survive.

It might not feel like it at times, but she would.

Steve lifted his head from her shoulder to eye the clock on the wall.

“Bucky’s going to be home later tonight,” he mumbled, “maybe I can put off till he gets –

“Stevie…”

Evie hated how high maintenance it made her. As often as Steve assured her he was happy to help her in whatever she needed, she often wished she didn’t have the baggage of endometriosis weighing her down.

His shoulders fell and he gave a terse nod, nuzzling the crook of her neck once more.

Her heart fluttered as he pressed his lips to her skin.

“Fuck, I love you so much…”

Evie smiled, running her hands over his back in soothing motions.

“I love you too, Steve. You have no idea how much…”

He inhaled deeply, seemingly breathing in deep her scent, her warmth.

“Your special chocolate is in your nightside table,” he mumbled sadly, “the TENS is just about fully charged. It’s –

“On the dresser,” she finished, “I saw it. Thank you, Steve.”

In a few hours, the small electrical pulses the TENS sent over her aching body would be her only relief. And with the chocolate – and the CBD oil it contained – taking the edge off and calming her, it would almost be tolerable.

At least that was the hope. Each flare up was a bit different, though she’d accumulated a good number of tricks to dealing with them over the years.

“I’ll text Bucky, let him know what’s going on,” Steve continued, brushing back her hair and lightly kissing her lips, “ _please_ take care of yourself until he gets home. Eat something before it gets too bad, okay, baby?”

She nodded, a little smirk on her lips as she went in for another kiss.

Steve’s kisses made everything better. In a few hours, when she was a sobbing mess, maybe the memory of them would help?

“Please be safe,” she whispered when their lips parted, “ _please_ …”

He answered with a tight embrace, kissing her forehead.

“I’ll do my best, Evie,” he breathed, “that I can promise you.”

* * *

The clock read 7:14PM…and still Bucky wasn’t home.

Evie choked on a sob.

Why wasn’t he home?

A half-eaten sleeve of saltines lay neglected on her nightside table. A few empty water bottles lay scattered about, as well as a couple of silver foil wrappers which had once enveloped her special chocolates.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed, hugging a hot water bottle to her stomach and trying to control her breathing.

Steve hadn’t been gone for twelve hours, and her flare up had changed drastically. Her period was still MIA, but the cramps were far worse. Her back ached, she was exhausted despite having done nothing all day, and she felt as though she was about to vomit.

But despite it all, she knew it could – and likely would – get worse. She needed to rest while she could.

It took her a bit, but she managed to swing her legs up onto the bed and recline.

_I can do this…I’ve got this…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here! A real chapter for your enjoyment - with oodles of sweet Bucky :)

A cramp strong enough to jerk her entire body woke her from a restless sleep.

Her hot water bottle was no longer hot, and while the CBD chocolate kept her racing heart from pushing her into a full-blown panic attack, it didn’t feel like it had done its job insofar as the pain was concerned.

Nearly breathless from the agony of it, Evie weakly rolled over.

And an immediate, alarming flood between her legs told her that her period had arrived.

_Fuck…_

She shakingly stood and looked down on the bed, only to pale at the sight of the mess she had made of the sheets. Thanks to endometriosis, oftentimes her periods were rather heavy.

And if the size of the _pool_ of a spot she’d made was any indication, this period seemed to be one of those.

Seized by another cramp, Evie groaned and bit her lip. She cast aside the hot water bottle and took a shaky step towards the washroom, only for the slight shifting of her thighs to allow blood that had been trapped in her by her closed thighs to run down her leg.

Frustrated and uncomfortable, Evie let her head roll back and gave a heavy sigh; defeated. Knowing that nothing she did now would spare her a messy clean up, she allowed herself a moment to get steady on her feet before braving the trek to the washroom.

She glanced to the clock.

It was 9:30PM and, if the silent apartment was any indication, Bucky was still not home.

She wanted to cry…which only made her want to cry more. How pathetic was she to want his comfort now? It screamed ‘childish’, and Evie was petrified of Bucky’s reaction.

She hadn’t seen him since the day their relationship changed , which was almost three weeks ago now. Yes, she might have told him about her condition, but he’d hardly been prepared for what to really expect.

And after so long apart, would he be expecting sex?

Evie didn’t think so. Bucky hardly struck her as the sort to saunter into the apartment, sidestep all preamble, and expect to immediately head to the bedroom. But even if he didn’t expect _that_ , surely he expected to be welcomed by a happy, loving girlfriend?

Evie groaned, clutching her stomach as she forced herself to take a step.

She wasn’t sure she could muster the strength to give him the welcoming he deserved, but she could at least get herself tidied.

More blood dribbled down her legs as she walked, and she mumbled curses to her uterus under her breath with each step.

Evie hiked up her nighty as she stood in front of the toilet, grimacing as she wiggled her soaked panties down.

She didn’t bother closing the door, but it drifted half-closed when she stumbled and nudged it.

Both her panties and her nighty (and the bedsheets, sadly) needed to be put in cold water less the stains set, but she couldn’t muster the energy needed to clean them. And with energy in short supply, it was all she could do to keep her nighty raised as she sat on the toilet.

Another cramp pinched in her lower stomach and she groaned, whimpering when it didn’t fade like the others. She leaned against the vanity, folding her arms as best she could to use them as a pillow. Her nighty fluttered down over her lap, but she just grumbled in protest.

Her eyes fluttered closed.

How many times had she woken like this, she wondered.

She’d never had a ‘normal’ period.

‘Normal’ for her was this – pain that drained her past the point of exhaustion, nausea and cramps that often reduced her to tears, bloating, and ridiculously heavy periods that often had her contemplating just camping out on the toilet. Sometimes, the pain made her panic and that brought on the sweats that left her hot and clammy.

In the early days, before she was diagnosed and shortly after, sometimes she truly thought stepping out in front of a bus would be preferable to enduring the rollercoaster that was her flare ups. TENS, her special chocolate, and the other tricks she’d learned over the years helped banish that thought (for the most part) but Evie still saw each flare up as a battle.

And, damnit, sometimes it really wore her down.

The sound of the front door opening and something heavy – a bag most likely – hitting the floor, nearly made her jump in surprise.

“Babydoll?”

Evie’s eyes immediately flooded with tears of joy.

_Thank god!_

“’m in here,” she managed, voice wavering a bit as emotion bubbled up in her, “’m here, Buck.”

Just hearing his voice for the first time in so long reminded her just how fiercely she missed him.

Her chin quivered; a fresh wave of sobs imminent.

_Oh, Bucky…_

If she could, Evie would run and jump into his arms. She’d kiss him senseless and wrap herself around him, soaking up his warmth and touch. If she could, she’d peel his sweat-soaked clothes from him and kiss him all over, examining him for serious injury before carefully cleaning him. Then, when the shower’s spray had warmed them, she’d make love to him on their bed until they were spent and fall asleep in his arms…

That was the dream, but all Evie could do now was open her eyes.

She heard him open the bedroom door.

“Evie?”

She caught the tension in his voice, the fear, and she remembered the mess she’d left in the bedroom. Embarrassment hit her immediately. It had taken her a while to grow comfortable with Steve seeing what a flare up looked like and here was Bucky, face-to-face with it in all its messy glory.

“’m okay, baby, really. In here, in the washroom.”

“You’re scaring me, doll,” his voice was tight, but growing closer, “Evie? Talk to me, Ev -

The washroom door was nudged open and she met his wide, terrified gaze.

Bucky Barnes was a sight for sore eyes, even in his wrinkled tee shirt and dirty jeans. His hair was greasy and unkept, his face glistening with sweat. Her focus fell to his side, where he was clutching a pistol in his metal hand.

_What the hell? A gun? Why does he have a gun?_

“Jesus Christ, Evie!” he sat the gun down on the vanity and gingerly touched her cheek, “baby, what the…”

His panicked gaze flicked rapidly over her as he scrambled to put the pieces together.

“You’re…you’re hurt, baby,” his voice caught in his throat, “Evie…baby…where are you hurt?”

Now Evie knew she’d made a hell of a mess of the bedroom, but she didn’t understand his panic. Steve had said he’d text him after all, give him a heads up. Granted, this was all new to him and a lot to take in, but she still didn’t understand the look he was giving her.

Another cramp had her nearly doubling over and as she rested her elbows on her knees, Bucky dropped to his before her.

“Ev, baby, talk to me –

She felt him tug at the end of her nighty as she tried to control her breathing enough to respond, seemingly realizing where the blood was coming from.

To her horror though, he tried to lift it.

She slapped at his hand, leaning back a bit to lessen the ache in her back as she hissed through clenched teeth.

“It’s…just my period…Bucky,” she said, tone far harsher than she wanted it to be, “fuck…”

It felt as though her insides were tangled up, constricted and pulled taut. It killed and all she wanted was to the relief the TENS could give her…and maybe to get cleaned up.

“Ev, there’s way too much blood…the bed…I thought…”

Evie knew where he was going, what he had to have feared upon seeing the blood stains on the bed. She knew that. But her pain didn’t allot her much of in the way of patience.

Still, she dug deep to try to speak calmly to him.

Bucky deserved as much.

“It’s a flare up,” she said in an exhale, “told you…have endo…metriosis…”

She faintly registered Bucky’s features softening some.

“Oh, baby,” he tentatively held her hand, “fuck, I’m so sorry! I…I wanted to look into it, you know? Find out more about it so I knew how to help, but then I had to head out so soon after we talked, and it was chaos and…”

He clenched his jaw and his gaze seemed distant.

Evie took a deep breath.

“’s okay,” she grasped his shoulder, “S-Steve was supposed to text you…not your fault, baby…”

His expression wasn’t any less sour.

“My phone died earlier this morning, haven’t had a chance to charge it…”

Evie blinked away tears.

“’s okay –

“No, Steve should have had Friday give me the message! And why did he leave you like this? What was he thinking?”

Evie adored him for his concern, she did, but what patience she had was wearing _very_ thin. She hated herself for it, but she couldn’t hold back from snapping his name.

“Bucky!”

She needed help getting into the tub. The sheets needed to be stripped, her hot water bottle had to be refilled, and she longed for the sweet relief only her TENS could give her.

Her eyes fell closed as her head spun.

When her flare ups happened and Steve was gone before, she just sat and suffered; doing what she could when she could. Painting, cooking, cleaning, even getting a bath drawn were herculean tasks.

But as the thought that Bucky might help since he was here crossed her mind, so too did the fear that she was asking too much.

She was a needy, snippy, high maintenance mess…and he’d just gotten back from a three weeklong mission.

_She_ should be taking care of _him_.

“’m sorry,” she managed tightly, “’m sorry, Buck, just…just hurts…”

Bucky shushed her, metal hand raising to cup her cheek.

“Don’t you dare say sorry, Ev,” he kissed her brow and she choked on a sob, “what can I do?”

He was too sweet, too good. Even in her addled state, she could see that glaringly and it made her heart ache.

“Bed…needs to be changed.”

“Can I draw you a bath first, babydoll?”

She bit her trembling lip, nodding.

Bucky kissed her forehead and quickly got the water running.

“Warm, right?”

“Yes…please…”

“Anything I should be adding to it?”

She tapped the vanity door.

“Salts…”

“Salts?”

He knelt and rifled through the vanity.

“Epsom salts?”

“Yes…”

She watched him fondly as he read the back of the package before adding the correct amount to the water as it filled.

“Need help up, sweetheart?” he asked as he turned off the tap.

She nodded.

Bucky slipped his arms under her own, slowly guiding her up to her feet.

She held on as tightly as she could muster to his shoulders, trusting him to bare the bulk of her weight. He didn’t ask before making to lift her nighty, but he did give pause and give her a look.

Evie just smiled weakly and rested her cheek against his chest.

She relaxed as his fingers tangled in her hair.

“I’ve got you, Evie…”

Bucky somehow managed to wiggle the fabric up her hips and finally, carefully, up over her head. With how awful she felt, being naked in front of him felt even more intimate. Still, she didn’t want him to look too closely. She let her hair fall forward to act as something as a shield.

When he put some distance between them to keep her steady while she stepped into the tub, his gaze fell to her stomach.

“Oh, Ev…”

Evie could feel it of course, the bloating, but by his tone she guessed it was bad enough to see at a glance. That knowledge made her want to cover up.

“’m okay,” she sighed as she sank into the warm water, “thank you…”

His smile was soft and sweet.

“Of course, baby,” he brushed back her hair, “you okay while I clean up a bit? I’ll leave the door open, just holler if you need anything, okay?”

She gripped the tub’s edge as the pain piqued, nodding quickly.

Bucky hurried from the room and she watched him strip the bed. He bundled it all up, then left the room. She heard the sink running in the kitchen and she guessed he was soaking the stain there. He reappeared, stripped off the mattress cover, and disappeared again.

Evie forced herself to relax some, closing her eyes and reclining against the slope of the tub as the pain in her lower back eased.

It was difficult to wrap her head around, being so lucky as to have not one but two wonderful men in her life who had no qualms about helping her. Her ex – dubbed 'Asshat' Andrew by Steve – always seemed to disappear when her flare ups happened. She got used to suffering through it on her own.

Knowing her body as well as she did helped her predict things.

Flare ups were always worse during her period, but she had some lower grade, linger pain that persisted throughout the month. Usually bloating, an aching back, maybe a bit of nausea that never amounted to anything. Sometimes it hurt to have sex…a symptom she resented bitterly. But she did have really good days; days where she _almost_ forgot that she had a medical condition that brought chronic pain.

She heard the vanity being opened again and opened her eyes. Bucky had grabbed a washcloth and as he knelt by the tub, soaking the cloth in the warm bathwater, Evie watched him closely.

He looked tired. His blue eyes were still strikingly beautiful, but the dark circles under them were new. His beard was a bit longer too.

“Can I help, baby?”

A part of her wanted to say no. She felt disgusting, why would he want to touch her?

But he looked so eager…

“Yeah…”

He wrung out the cloth some before beginning. 

She moaned as he squeezed her shoulder. He focused on her arm, rubbing from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers before lavishing the same attention on her other arm. Her breasts were tender, but he was careful as he ran the cloth over them. The gentle pressure felt heavenly just under her breasts though and he lingered there, having caught the tiniest sigh of contentment that left her lips as he touched her.

“Good, Evie?”

“Yes…Bucky…”

He hummed; hand going lower ever so slowly, his focus on her face for signs of displeasure.

“You’re so…good to me,” she breathed, grasping onto his flesh arm to brace herself as another cramp slowly waned, “fuck…”

“I love you, Ev,” he ran the cloth over her bloated belly, “all of you.”

She gasped as her pain shifted lower and he stopped.

“Good or bad?”

“Good,” she bit through the ache, “just…different…”

“What do you mean?”

Evie took a slow, controlled breath.

“Not you. You were good. The cramp was bad…different. Cramp wasn’t here,” she touched her stomach just below her bellybutton, “was…here…”

She slipped her hand between her legs, wincing as the sensation of her fingers grazing her labia made the pain return. It was always a hard thing to describe, but the closest thing she could liken it to was being stabbed. A persistent ache bloomed outward from the sharp, piercing pain between her legs. It was like someone was trying to wring her vagina and surrounding muscles like Bucky had wrung the water from the washcloth.

Bucky sat the washcloth aside.

“What can I do?”

His metal hand had fallen to her thigh, and whether he realized he was doing it or not, he was rubbing her.

And it felt heavenly.

“Keep doing…that…”

She touched the forearm of his metal arm.

“This feels good?”

Evie nodded quickly, fearful the relief his hand brought would be taken from her.

Maybe it was the way the vibranium warmed in the water, or just the rigidity of it compared to flesh, but it was glorious.

When he shifted to rub her inner thigh, Evie had to blink back tears.

It was like getting massaged by a heating pad and her aching muscles marvelled in it.

“Oh, Bucky…”

He squeezed the meat of her inner thigh before pressing the tips of his fingers into it, intent on working the ache from her muscles. He repeated the motion on her other leg, seemingly content to drink in the little gasping sounds she made.

He stopped only when he noticed her fingers were beginning to prune.

“Want me to help you to bed, Ev? I’ll keep rubbing you, just don’t want you turning into a raisin on me here.”

She’d whined at the loss of his touch, so her nod was enthusiastic.

If he was going to keep rubbing away her aches like that, she’d do damn near anything.

Bucky gently helped her up, wrapping a towel around her before pulling the plug from the tub’s drain. She clutched the towel to her, a bit self-conscious without the pretense of a bath to justify her nudity.

He grabbed her hairbrush and quickly ran it through her hair before gathering it up and using a worn elastic to secure it in a messy bun atop her head.

She laughed when he squeezed it.

“A nice as your man bun?” she asked.

His hair was down at the moment, but he often had it pulled back in a low man bun. Until she’d met him, she thought no one could pull off that look and make it sexy.

Enter Bucky Barnes.

“Nah, better,” he mused, “come on, baby.”

They stepped into her bedroom, and he opened her the top drawer of her dresser.

“What should I be lookin’ for?”

“One of the big nighties on the left side,” she said as she tried to dry herself, “panties are in the middle.”

He returned to her with his selections and she was relieved to see he’d chosen a modest pair of underwear. The last thing she felt like wearing was anything lacy or sheer.

He tucked both under his arm and made to help her dry off. Evie couldn’t help it, but she felt awful when she jumped as he went to unwrap the towel.

“Cold?” he asked.

Evie kept her gaze down as she shook her head.

_It’s stupid…_

She bit her lip and shrugged.

“’m all bloated and gross,” she mumbled, “it’s dumb…’m sorry…”

Bucky kissed her forehead, nuzzling his way down to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

“Don’t go sayin’ that about yourself, Ev,” he breathed as their lips parted, “you’re beautiful, baby…always will be. Come on, let me help you.”

She licked her lips, taken aback by the intensity in his eyes that left no room to argue his claim, and nodded.

Bucky untucked the corner of the towel and quietly dried her down, keeping her covered as best he could so she didn’t actually get cold. He seemed to know not to apply too much pressure to her breasts and stomach as he rubbed the towel over her body. It was small, but that little gesture made her get teary eyed.

When he’d dried down her legs, he stood up and noticed the watery look she was giving him.

“Ev?”

Evie sniffled and rubbed away her tears.

“It’s just a lot,” she whispered, “that ‘m asking you to deal with. I don’t mean to be so…high maintenance. But it just means so much to me…that you’re here. Helping me. I…hope you know that. I can’t…really begin to explain it; how much you mean to me…”

Bucky was quiet, too quiet, and when she risked a look at him she was confused.

His expression…well, Evie didn’t know quite what to make of it at first. He looked stumped, then…awed maybe? Whatever it was, it was soft and sweet…and a bit shy.

It was an overwhelming thing to bare the brunt of.

But when she tried to look away, Bucky caught her chin and made her look up at him. He said nothing, but the firm kiss he pressed to her lips said plenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone with a chronic illness and/or chronic pain deserves to have a loved one as supportive as Bucky :)


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes care of Evie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos :) I'm hoping to build on the momentum writing this has given me and update this series again soon! In the meantime, enjoy!

Evie braced herself against Bucky as he let go of her to help her into her nighty. She clenched the fabric of his tee shirt tight in her fists, breathing slowly as she worked through another piercing cramp.

Bucky kissed her face until her breathing evened out, then held the nighty so she could slip her arms in the holes.

When she was covered, Evie eyed the pair of panties in Bucky’s hand.

“I’ll need…a pad,” she mumbled, making a slow start to step back into the washroom.

Bucky stopped her.

“I’ve got it.”

He didn’t give her time to argue. He made sure she was steady on her feet, then headed back into the washroom and knelt at the vanity.

“The thick one,” Evie clarified when he just stared into the abys that was the vanity, “orange wrapper.”

“Ah!” Bucky reached in, “that helped.”

He returned with the pad in hand looking victorious.

Evie couldn’t help but smile.

She was reminded, once again, of just how lucky she was. Some men might approach a pad or tampon like it was going to burn their hand if they dared touch it. But Bucky? He just looked relieved to have found it.

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

Evie took the pad.

“Nothing,” she rolled her eyes when he gave her a pointed look, “just…some guys wouldn’t…be so calm holding…a pad…”

Small grunts of pain punctuated her words as cramps wrecked havoc on her body.

Bucky shrugged.

“I had three sisters. Things were different back then obviously. No one talked about it and my sisters might have smacked me if I had found the guts to ask…”

She chuckled.

“But I wasn’t an idiot,” he continued, “Ma never let me unload the bags when she got back from the pharmacy. And my sisters always used to sneak into the washroom like they were doing something bad.”

“Really?”

Again, Bucky just shrugged.

“The ‘30s and ‘40s were great for a lot of things…not so much for others.”

Of all the things Evie thought of bringing to up learn more about Bucky, pads was most definitely at the bottom of the list. She made a mental note to find out more about his family another time…preferably when her uterus wasn’t trying to kill her.

Bucky made sure she didn’t topple over as she put on her panties and the pad, giving him a kiss on the chin when she was situated.

“All good?”

She nodded and gave a little yelp as he cautiously scooped her up in his arms.

“I’ve got you, babydoll.”

He carried her over to her bed, on which he had haphazardly tucked in fresh sheets.

“The sheets are soaking. I hope this is fine for now. I’ll do laundry later. Promise.”

“It’s great, thank you, baby.”

He smiled at her as he carefully sat her down.

“You’re an easy woman to please…”

She would hardly classify all he had done to help her as being easy, but that he did made her heart flutter.

He fluffed her pillows.

“What else can I get you, doll?”

“Could you refill my hot water bottle?” she asked as she glanced around, finally finding it on the floor behind him, “there it is.”

Bucky snagged it from the floor.

“Can do,” he looked at her expectantly, “that all?”

Evie bit her lip.

There was something…

“Could you…maybe put the gun away? Feels weird just having it sitting in the washroom…”

Bucky laughed.

“Of course, Ev. I’ll do that first, then get your bottle filled –

“Then maybe come lay with me?”

His smirk was adorable.

“I think my arm can be twisted…”

But the wink he gave her made her all warm inside.

If she wasn’t in pain, she’d have tried for more than cuddling.

Bucky grabbed the gun first as he promised, then disappeared into the kitchen to refill the hot water bottle.

While she waited for him to return, she grabbed another small piece of chocolate from her stash in her nightside table. It would put her at the maximum recommended for the day, but she needed the relief.

Steve had left her TENS machine to charge on the dresser and while it was definitely fully charged by now, it was so far away.

Evie pouted.

As if on cue though, Bucky poked his head in the room.

“Just waiting on the kettle to do it’s thing, baby. Did you want something to eat?”

She shook her head but pointed to her dresser.

“What cha need?”

He approached the dresser and spotted the bizarre machine he’d never seen before and clearly hadn’t noticed earlier.

“This?”

He glanced back at her over his shoulder and Evie nodded, making grabby hands when he unplugged it.

He chuckled as he walked it over to her.

“Fuck you’re cute,” he handed it to her, “can I ask what this is?”

“Magic.”

He watched with rapt focus as she lifted her nighty so the fabric bunched up under her breasts. She pressed the adhesive electrode pads to her bloated stomach just under her bellybutton, arranging them in the way she knew to be best for her. She turned it on, chose the thirty-minute setting, and hit ‘start’.

_Oh my lord…_

The sigh of relief that left her was almost pornographic.

“Hmm, that’s the stuff…”

The TENS worked for her, but she knew not everyone with endometriosis found it so helpful. The small electrical pulses that stimulated her muscles interrupted the spasms her cramps caused.

And in the midst of a flare up, a thirty-minute window of reprieve was heaven sent.

His arms crossed; Bucky looked down at her with a cheeky grin on his lips.

“Thought only Steve and I could pull those sounds out of you, doll?”

Evie blushed and tried to swat him.

“Don’t tease,” she whined, “I can’t do that right now and it’s not fair!”

Bucky kissed her forehead as the kettle’s whistle filled the apartment.

He hurried away, returning a few minutes later with the hot water bottle.

“Here ya are, beautiful.”

Evie immediately wedged it between her thighs. Coupled with the TENS, it was nearly bliss.

Bucky had brought his bag in from the kitchen. He sat it in the chair – the very same chair he’d sat in to watch her and Steve make love the night everything changed between them – and groaned as he tugged off his tee shirt.

And there it was – bliss.

Even exhausted and in pain, Evie couldn’t help but gawk at him as he stripped down to his boxer briefs.

_It must be illegal to be so incredibly gorgeous and somehow be completely oblivious of it…_

“I had such plans for welcoming you home,” she mused with a frown, “none of them involved a hot water bottle between my legs.”

Bucky’s resounding laugh was all consuming. His eyes crinkled as he turned to her, and he ran his hand through his hair.

“I’m just happy to be with you, doll. Really.”

He crawled into bed and went right to her side.

“Besides, there’s plenty of time to go through your ideas later.”

“Oh yeah?”

He kissed her shoulder and draped his arm across her chest.

“I’ve pretty much been going nonstop with one thing or another these last few months. I spoke to Fury and Stark when we got back tonight, asked him for some time; a breather. Don’t worry, didn’t mention us…”

Evie ran her fingers up his arm as she thought.

_Us._

‘Us’ was more complicated now. It was certainly more controversial. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe they’d all be okay with it, but she wasn’t overly bothered by that.

If it worked for them, and they were all happy, what did it matter?

“We’ll have to eventually, right?” she asked in a small voice, “I mean…they’ll probably all figure it out eventually otherwise…”

“Probably,” he conceded, “how do you feel about that?”

His voice was soft, his own nervousness palpable.

Evie’s lips quirked into a smirk. She turned to him.

“I’m in love with you, Bucky.”

She rolled as best she could to kiss his chin. He smiled as her lips pressed to his skin.

“And I’m in love with Steve. If we’re happy together, does it really matter what they think? We’re hardly hurting anyone.”

“You really mean that?” he asked.

Evie nodded.

“Yeah…I mean, am I worried about things being difficult for you and Steve? Yes. Does that make me second guess my feelings? No. I’m sure they’d have questions or concerns…but they’re your friends. They love you guys too. I don’t know…I just think they’d be okay so long as you’re both happy.”

_Okay, maybe I am a bit naïve…_

He gently hugged her to him.

“I’m happy.”

“Even now?” she teased.

“Yeah,” his voice was quiet, but she heard it catch, “I told you, doll…I’m down for all of it. Date nights…fuckin’ all over the apartment –

Evie laughed.

He kissed her cheek.

“I meant it. I’m happy to do it all with you.”

Evie was starting to believe him.

* * *

When Evie woke up, she immediately felt that the TENS electrodes had been removed from her belly and her nighty had been pulled down, so she was covered. She opened her eyes as another cramp seized her.

She jerked from the pain and looked to her side.

Bucky wasn’t with her, but the light on his side of the bed was on and a laptop (his, she assumed) was sitting beside it. It was open, and the screen hadn’t faded to black, so she assumed Bucky hadn’t been gone for long.

But the washroom door was open, and he wasn’t there.

“Buck?”

She heard his hushed voice faintly, and the bedroom door opened just a crack.

“It’s okay. I’m just on the phone with Stevie, baby, I’ll be right there.”

_Steve? Was something wrong?_

“C-Can I talk to Steve?” she grimaced as she tried to sit up in the bed, “Bucky?”

“I’m comin’, baby.”

He stepped into the room holding a big bowl of cereal and a massive glass of orange juice. His cell phone was pinched between his chin and shoulder.

“I’m handin’ you over to Evie, Steve.”

He let the phone drop to the bed, and she grabbed it and quickly brought it to her ear.

“Steve?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice was like honey, sweet and smooth, “Bucky takin’ good care of you?”

He didn’t sound like he was upset or in pain…did he call to check on her?

As the thought crossed her mind, she realized that of course he did.

It was Steve.

“He is. Please don’t worry about me – are you okay?”

“Things are going well, baby. Don’t worry, just called to make sure my two favorite people were doin’ okay.”

“We’re your favorite people?” she asked, teasingly.

“Nobody else comes close, doll…”

She could hear his smile as he spoke.

“You two mean the world to me,” he continued, “but keep that from Buck…it’ll go to his head.”

Evie laughed.

She looked to Bucky, who was busy shovelling cereal into his mouth.

“It’ll be our secret. When are you going to be home?”

“Hmm, at a guess?”

Evie would take guesses. She never expected him to make a promise when it came to getting home. Things always changed, but Steve was hardly a rookie.

“Well, an educated guess.”

He chuckled.

“If I’m being optimistic, a week. If I’m being realistic, probably closer to two.”

Still, Evie had her fingers crossed he was going to say ‘tomorrow, baby!’.

_Damnit…_

“On the bright side, you get to miss the worst of my flare up,” she said playfully, “maybe I’ll be able to welcome you home properly…”

His deep hum made her giddy.

“Can’t go sayin’ things like that when I’m so far from you, baby…”

She heard a commotion, someone calling for Steve, and she knew he was being pulled away.

“I’m coming!,” he hollered to someone, “Evie, baby, I’ve got to go.”

“Okay, thanks for checking in, Steve. I love you!”

“Love you too, sweetheart. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

“You’d better,” she bit her lip, “bye, love.”

“Bye, baby.”

The line went dead, and Evie handed Bucky his phone with a pout.

“He’ll be back, Ev,” Bucky soothed, “you’re a hell of a motivator.”

She couldn’t help it, Bucky had to know.

“Well,” she gingerly rolled closer to him, “don’t tell Steve, but he said we’re his two favorite people. Apparently we mean the world to him.”

His brow quirked, intrigued.

“He didn’t want me to know?”

“Said it would go to your head.”

Bucky gave a bark of laughter. He sat his bowl aside and grabbed his laptop.

“He’s a jerk, don’t listen to him,” he inched closer to her, “I wanted to run something by you.”

“Oh?”

He positioned his laptop so she could see it.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he began, “so I’ve been googling.”

“Have you now? Who taught you how to do that?”

He ever-so-lightly elbowed her.

“Don’t go bein’ mean. Steve’s bad enough to deal with, he doesn’t need an accomplice.”

“Sorry,” she rested her head on his shoulder, “continue.”

“I’ve been reading,” he opened a window, “and I found these.”

She looked at the screen, and then to him in confusion.

“Vaginal suppositories?”

Evie wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“Yeah,” he scrolled down, “they’ve got CBD in ‘em. Suppose to ‘relax muscles and provide relief from inflammation’.”

He read from the screen.

“Look at the reviews.”

Evie did, and was surprised to see a few written from women with endometriosis who swore by them. She was all for trying them, until she saw the price.

“Buck…it’s pricey.”

“Don’t worry about the price,” he dismissed, “wanna try ‘em? They’ve got another for intimacy.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at ‘intimacy’, and she giggled.

She read the reviews for the other suppository and was hopeful when she read one woman found it ‘relaxed her pelvic floor’.

Maybe…maybe it would help?

Sometimes sex was so painful, and she didn’t want endometriosis to damper what was undoubtedly going to be an amazing sex life.

“Okay,” she conceded.

It wasn’t like he was trying to pay her rent, she reasoned. It was a gift…one he’d (hopefully) benefit from. It was okay to accept a gift.

As though he was afraid she would change her mind, he quickly ordered them and sat aside his laptop; a proud look on his face.

“Thank you, baby,” she kissed him, smiling against his lips as he chuckled into their kiss.

“You’re welcome.”

He was still smiling.

“You’re awfully proud of yourself!”

He shrugged but didn’t correct her.

“Okay, I let you get them for me,” she wiggled to the edge of the bed, “which means you can’t laugh me while I waddle to the washroom.”

A glance at the clock told her she had been sleeping for quite a while. She needed a washroom break.

“Promise, doll.”

To his credit, he kept his promise…but the smile she caught on his lips was suspicious.

She gave him a pass since he’d taken such good care of her.

Walking back from the washroom after washing her hands, Evie felt the cramps returning. By the time she reached the bed, she had tears in her eyes.

“Baby?”

Bucky’s smirk had faded. He reached out to her as she settled on the bed and pulled her close.

He was so warm, and she pressed herself up against him in the hopes he’d act as a giant hot water bottle and ease away her aches.

“What’s hurtin’?”

Evie groaned.

Her cramp was more between her legs. The wringing feeling had returned to her insides, as had the sharp pain in her crotch. The pain in her lower back was sharper than before, so that was new.

Still, she was barely twenty-four hours into her flare up, and she was well and truly done with it.

“I’d love you forever if you rubbed my back,” she breathed.

His answer was to slide his metal hand up her nighty to press against her bare back.

_My god…how is the vibranium so warm?_

She practically purred as he pressed his fingers into her lower back and began working the tension from her muscles.

“Oh…god…”

She was so close to him; she felt his laugh.

“Is it that good, Ev?”

She closed her eyes and kissed his chest.

“Yes…thank you.”

She slipped her arm over his hip and sighed.

“Can we just spend the day in bed?”

“Sure, doll,” he didn’t hesitate, “holdin’ you and rubbin’ on you all day sounds perfect…”

He found a particularly sore spot on her back and she arched into him as he worked his magic.

“Besides, it’s not like my hand gets tired…”

_Oh…_

Evie hadn’t considered that.

It certainly was something worth revisiting once her flare up subsided…but for now…

She nuzzled up under his chin.

“I could not adore you more, Bucky Barnes.”

For now this was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things:
> 
> a) I am not an expert but in all the blogs and vlogs I explored while getting info on endometriosis a few mentioned these really cool sounding vaginal suppositories that are made with CBD - how friggin' cool is that? No idea how well they work, but the reviews were actually super positive. If you google it, I'm sure you'll find the same I did.
> 
> b) Thank you all (again) for reading! :P

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aiming to have the other parts posted over the weekend :) It was meant to be a single, longer chapter, but I have something coming up this afternoon (stupid real life!) and was eager to get something up for you all! Thank you for reading, and your patience with this series!


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